SHREDS OF EVIDENCE
Following my insight into choosing to attend to my TO DO list from love, self-care, patience, because I’ll feel good rather than shoulding myself into compliance, this shift allowed the free flow of energy to become instantly available for forward motion.
Years of files I don’t need to keep anymore ‘just in case’ were reviewed and then shredded, systematically because the shredder can only work so long without overheating, needing 30 minutes between batches. That was interesting enforced pacing, letting go of efficiency even more, once again noting there’s really no rush to get this done.
The clear bag I found became fuller and then onto another, brimming with my shredded past. I ordered more clear bags and waited till they arrived before continuing. I wanted this transformation of paper neatly contained. There’s always chaos in the reorganizing or uncluttering of a life or drawer.
When I didn't feel like shredding anymore, I started to delete or organize into folders 4000 emails so far and counting from my inbox of 12,000. It's actually great to do during commercials while watching TV.
My other life and career in group facilitation and individual personal growth was being released on a whole new level.
I became aware of the sheer magnitude of time and energy I’d put into all my retreats and workshops, programs, public speaking. All that marketing. It was eye opening how far I’ve shifted into more EASE while revisiting that way of life.
Although women’s retreats have been in the mainstream for a while now, I started in 2001. It was a new market to nurture.
I’d completed my post grad thesis on combining Gestalt Therapy with Expressive Art. The following year birthed Aziza Healing Adventures (AHA) which in its lifetime was re imagined until finally, as Laila Goddess showed a clear new path, AHA was let go of as a healing vocation of service fulfilled and completed with no regrets and much gratitude for the privilege of working in this capacity to help people become aware of unconscious patterns and grow to freely move on in their truth.
Both letting go of AHA and beginning a clothing venture were unexpected opportunities.
It’s appropriate to keep lightening up the business records from that time. It helps me integrate my current career choices at a whole new level.
The idea of my home lightening up at this level is so exciting. I get to do it from a loving gentle place in my heart.
Not so much Spring cleaning. This is Life enlightenment. Lightenment.
What an extraordinary opportunity for redefinition by virtue of what I release.
What a blessing to let go with Love.
Proceeding with love takes the action out of work/chore into the ever evolving realm of self-care as well as commitment to the new, to the aligned, to the unknown even, because the vacuum I’m creating will be filled with ever more appropriate energy and ideas, solutions and opportunities.
I’m reveling in comprehending how much less paperwork is involved with running Laila Goddess because of Ecommerce. Of course there’s a whole lot of inventory to manage but that feels very different, at least right now.
My showroom feels more like an art gallery to me…
As I imagine just how much I can release over this season, awe and wonder settle in. I can already anticipate a feeling of relief not previously possible.
That makes me really happy.
That’s the thing about home offices. Sometimes I fantasize about the office I used to have in my day job 20+ years ago and how orderly and organized it was.
My home was just that, home.
The boundary was really clear between work and me. My employer also had an accounting office and a production manager’s office, a whole slew of staff. I just needed my sales office and files.
My current self-employment home office contains all those departments as I wear all those hats, and is spread all over with filing cabinets and desks scattered in different spaces.
One day that will change, but for now, the opportunity to clear out more and more records and baubles of a life that’s finished is satisfying enough.
I’m imagining proceeding in life as things start to cautiously move forward with the enormous advantage of being organized from the inside out.
Quietly picturing the spectacular reality of having only what I need and desire in my files, drawers and closets.
All completed a little at a time from a gentle place of initiative that looks nothing like a big bad task master of old imposing a schedule and pressure of efficiency onto an already busy life.
This is the break I’ve been longing for in my private dreams but was so far out of reach. Completely unimaginable.
May 2020 is dedicated to getting my house and home in order.
All the LG marketing that is required to grow online sales to new audiences in the absence of shows will just have to wait.
I'm going to stick with YOU, my dear known clients and followers, and figure out online expansion later.
Learning Instagram hashtags for example, and creating contests, offering up private shows when we can finally gather in small groups, so many ideas and they will have to wait for implementation.
Imposing multi tasking and splitting my focus is not how I want to approach or experience this rather involved project. Not this time.
I’ve put career ahead of my personal life for a while now, with no regrets because Laila Goddess grows beautifully and consistently, rewarding my commitment time and again. Thank you!
In this involuntary pause of business as usual, I volunteer for my own growth and it looks like this:
Get my home in order.
Release the past.
Do it all with Love.
I highly recommend it.
It's amazing what can happen in this spirit of cooperation with your soul.
All else will follow.